It's eating me alive.
Go away into a dark place.
I never want to see your face.
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Hiding in a shallow grave
Don't find me, I'm not that brave
Beyond this grave are zombies and vampires
All looking to fulfill their selfish desires
I must escape or forever fear
I'll never find a husband here.
This is representing the healing process. In order for me to move on, I have to deal with my previous relationship. Things I don't really want to do or things I have suppressed. It's time for me to become brave and deal with the emotions or heartache head on and get away from the cemetery of the dead relationship.
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Demon why are you here?
You don't belong in this sphere
For I am happy and full of life
You destroy and live with spite
Black and white describes us well
For I am heaven and you are hell
Realizing this was hard to do
You are the one I said I love you to
I'm going back to the relationship. Thinking about things. Sometimes it really did feel like heaven and hell. Black and white. Complete separation. Like living with a demon.
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When the dawn breaks my heart does too
I wake up next to you
I can't escape the hurt and sorrow
You'll be dishing it out today and tomorrow
I always hoped it would be better. That tomorrow or the next day or the next day would bring happiness and love. But with each sunrise the same problems did too. Things that would never be talked about and resolved.
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A weighted anchor dropped on me
Taking my breath and dragging me into the sea
In a state of shock and fear
I had to fight or disappear
I didn't know how to accomplish this task
Instead, I put on my happy mask
I was trying to remember the first time or moment when the verbal abuse started. I couldn't recall a specific moment, but I recalled feelings. It was like I was being dragged into the ocean and I couldn't breath. But I was expected to be happy about what was happening. If I tried to swim away or ask what was happening, I was dragged deeper into the black water.
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Demons are easily born
No announcement with a blaring horn
Still quiet deceptive creatures
Over taking your heart and becoming like leachers
Sucking the light out of your eyes
Replacing it with hate and despise
You'll never notice it's living there
It'll become something you nurture and care
The abuse happens so slowly or quickly you don't notice you're changing. You still think you are the same person, but you're not. The demon has overtaken you. You might be smiling, but inside you are frowning. I didn't know I was nurturing something I couldn't stand. I had a demon living inside me where a happy, smiling, loving woman use to be. Everyone that knew me before could see it had taken over. I was the last to see it. Even though I looked it in the eyes every day.
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Satan wants me to be afraid
To doubt the promises God has made
I won't let him win
For he is filled with sin
He doesn't want me to believe
He'd rather watch me grieve
Get out of my mind
You'll make me go blind
To not see what's in store
All you'll show me is a closed door
There is so much more for me to do
You're just causing it to go askew
Satan want's me to be afraid
To doubt the things I have prayed.
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What are we fighting for?
It hurts within my core
Yelling, throwing, punching
Is it all for nothing?
Fighting for me I assumed
In the end the pain consumed
A waving white flag in the air
I'm the one holding it there
I can't fight my army is dead
No words escaped my lips, it's all been said
This war was fought for nothing
Somehow I thought it was for something
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I can't believe you never knew
All the pain you put me through
The light in my eyes went dark
Nothing was left inside to spark
Each cunning word knocked me down
Did you not see me lying on the ground?
That is where you wanted me to be
Somehow it made you feel free
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You're like the freezing winter wind
I come in from the cold and you're still on my skin
You're also like the flu
Attacking what's strong and sinking your teeth into
Sometimes you made me smile
Somehow I knew you'd yell at me in awhile
I could never shake the feeling inside
The pain was eating me alive
The only way to break free
Was to say no to Eternity
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I never knew you could die and your lungs would still breath
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