Endless, Acid,and Blink

Desert prairie so open

Desert crack so closed

Ocean so vast

Waves so strong

Space endless

Feelings so open

Feelings so closed

Heart so vast

Emotions so strong

Love Endless

I was starting to realize all hope wasn't lost.  Feelings so open: symbolizes his need to only care about himself.  For me it symbolizes that one day I could have a relationship where I can share my feelings and/or thoughts freely.  Feelings so closed: states his lack of feeling for other people; sympathy or empathy.  To me, I was locked up in my feelings with no one to listen.  Heart so vast: is the emptiness he gave.  Heart so vast: symbolizes I could be healed and move on. Emotions so strong: he thought every single emotion he ever felt needed to be shared in anger or resentment.  For me, it's saying I'm on a roller coaster of emotions with him.  I never know what I'm going to receive. Love endless: is stating the emptiness I feel in the relationship and no matter what I do, it will remain endless.  The flip side, I'm saying love is endless and so big that I can love again and get away from this dark abyss. 

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Diamond ring on my finger

Coal in my heart

Love in my eyes

Tears in my throat

Veins in my hands

Blood runs cold

Tender lips

Acid words

Listening ears

Splinters

Curious nose

Deadly vapors

When writing this poem, I was becoming aware of the irony in my life.  I might have a diamond ring on my finger, but my heart was black as coal.  All the things I tried to do to make the relationship work, came back as opposite, extreme opposite.

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Can you see it,

This hole in my chest?

Heart still beating

Lungs still breathing

Eyes still blinking

Where am I?

I thought I was really good at covering up the hurt I was feeling inside.  I was positive no one could tell I was in an abusive relationship.  There were no physical marks to see with they eye, only deep emotional wounds that changed my happy demeanor.  One by one those people who know me the best started seeing the hole in my chest and helped me find my inner voice.